Comparing Yourself to Others - Blog (April 2025)

Comparing yourself with others is something absolutely everyone does, however it isn't always in a negative sense and is ever-changing. In society, comparing yourself to others happens in three different ways: professionally, socially and personally.

Professional comparison is when you compare yourself to others who do work in your field, and it's not only job-related. It can be linked to things you are quite passionate about, e.g. a sports you play, an instrument you practice, or an art you do.

Despite a difference in time and experience, we may firstly compare others' achievements to ours. Immediately, we either celebrate their accomplishment, despise it or feel neutral. If the party who achieved the goal was a direct competitor to you, understandably you'd be frustrated and maybe even feel self-pity. If the party was a sports team you support, you'd celebrate. And if we had no interest in that party whatsoever, but we hear about them on the news or they show up on our feed, we'd most likely be neutral towards their achievement.

Good things take time and obviously how long and strategical parties have been during their work are major factors. Just as a one-man business can go on to be successful, so can a massive chain like McDonald's.

Secondly is social comparison, which is when we compare our status, class, income, demographics, location, assets, etc, with others. This can be quite toxic as social standards that are often set by social media, influencers and what we are taught change quickly. This includes aspects like trends in fashion, music tastes, the books we read, routines, diet, etc.

To keep up with a 21st century Western materialistic and largely technology-driven society is to invest a serious portion of our time and effort into news articles, podcasts, books, social media, politics and several markets (real estate, stock/share, retail, etc). This can be tiring in the short-term, with more time and effort poured into keeping up with the world, and it can prove generally dissatisfying in the long term, leading to burn out, loss of morals and values and a few other things.

While we can choose to invest in anything, not everything is right for us. These things take days and weeks of consideration before making a definite decision that aligns with our goals and values. Happiness isn't worth trading for the most expensive assets.

Finally, there's personal comparison, which involves comparison with yourself in a past situation. This type can either be helpful or hindering.

For example, you might go golfing twice and, afterward, reflect on how it went. If the second day went better than the first, you will feel good about yourself, which can be an encouragement to your confidence, esteem, and golfing days to come.

However, if the second day was worse, you will feel either discontent or optimistic, because you know there's room for improvement. Each hole gives you something to work with, and one bad golfing experience shouldn't define you as a bad golfer. The same can be said about many other things: mistakes in work don't make you a bad person; in fact, it can be the opposite and strengthen who you are. It's natural how we learn.

But, readers, I must beg the question...who are you trying to please when you compare yourself to others? Is it you trying to live up to the expectations of family, or to follow in the footsteps of an older sibling, or to gain popularity, or a self-driven goal? Those can be a mixture of good and bad things that shape us and who we are.

Personally, as a writer, I feel inadequate at times when I see great word-masters conquer literary mountains. They reach the summit with all limbs attached and a beaming smile. But then I do remember I'm climbing a mountain of my own, and the journey ahead should be taken with care, consideration, and enjoying each new thing that flourishes before me. You see, we are all climbing our own mountains, all going through different valleys.

We don't have to hide it from the world. In my eyes, we summit mountains to show others our footsteps, and we go through valleys and plateaus much for the same reason, to show our footsteps that say: I was here; this is where I'm from and this is where I'm going; and when the footsteps increase in number, look around you and decide which footsteps are worth following.

I'll leave you with one last cheesy thought: Everyone's feet are different, therefore we cannot fill each footstep. And that's okay. Your journey, your goal, YOU are unique and that is valuable.

Diverting from the topic of today's blog, The Chasm Between Us is available in hardback/paperback/e-book form from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Booktopia, Smashwords, and more! Thank you to the phenomenal team at Tellwell Publishers for distributing the novel to retailers and simply being supportive and wonderful to work with.

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- Campbell